(In Retrospect: Tumbling Summer Talking To Jesus)
And these are the questions rolling in over and around me day after day, as I silent talk to Jesus:
Has the garden been watered, have the dogs been fed, do the parakeets have food, should the windows be opened now it’s cooler outside & if so are the air conditioners turned off?
Did they mow the grass, does the laundry need switched, what’s for dinner tomorrow, will there be leftovers for lunch?
Can we go camping soon before college classes begin, what about those pain in the butt (but oh so important), merit badges, and when do we sign up for basketball? Does my hair need colored again and no I didn’t call the orthodontist or the allergist and yes I sent that email to the school and the doctor and the insurance company, and I ran but I didn’t do the exercises the physical therapist told me to because they take fifteen minutes more.
I wrote over five thousand words today and not on blog posts, (feeling pretty certain I’ll never catch up on those – is that ok do ya think? I’m thinking it is but you know how I second guess myself.) And my eyes ache so I can’t bear to look at the monitor but I have to, (will squinting give me wrinkles?
I feel certain your answer is yes.)
And the sinus infection is worse ‘cause I haven’t been taking the decongestant – it makes me sleepy and I can’t be sleepy.
But I need the decongestant.
So I took an energy shot a few hours after the decongestant; searching for the energy to make dinner and run four miles up hill though I’m wondering if the combination of both of those nasty tasting concoctions will give me a heart attack.
I read Christmas is only twenty-two Fridays away the other day and I love Christmas but I’m breaking out in hives at the thought, because honest Jesus I really really really thought I’d have it all together by now but I don’t.
(Did you know it’s August?
Is it August in heaven?
I’m thinking in my part of heaven it’ll always be wintertime. Maybe on occasion one spring day, maybe two, a few autumn weeks of course – then right back to winter.)
And I need to make a doctor appointment or my meds won’t be refilled and then my head will whirl round, (you know it will). Yeal I’ll be spittin’ out pea soup and leaving wreckage bigger than anything ever seen.
(Between you and me things have been kinda weird hormone wise Jesus – whoever’s idea this was I plan on taking exception with.)
And I laughed at too many things and I watered the herbs and found those old wind chimes I liked so much and hung them in the kitchen, (suspended high – from the pine self Scott made and attached over the inglenook above the range.)
The light bounces off of them lovely – though that spot’s not particularly windy.
I watched my latest “fluff Netflix addiction” while on the treadmill and helped Scott patch the holes in the walls (still there from our hell-on-wheels, moving-in days, though a couple seemed suspiciously new to me.) Naturally we left the dent Cade made in the foyer wall our first year here during the battle of the Halloween piñata ‘cause it still cracks me up.
I may frame that baby.
Speaking of kids…
Our still-a-teenager thinks his curfew is too early and his social life too slow while I’m thinking it’s fine, and he isn’t a thirty year old living on his own, raking in six figures so why does he think he can act like it? And yes that flower bed is your responsibility and no I don’t know where your white shirt with the blue pocket got off to – do I wear it?
The sock basket is overflowing.
And who left a freaking coffee spoon on the windowsill (stuck fast), for Pete’s sake?
(Sorry Lord for saying freaking, but you know it’s better than what I was thinking.)
And why does no one put the ketchup away?
(Or is it catsup? I’ll find out in heaven I think.)
So clean that bathroom and pick up those shoes I nearly broke my neck stumbling over and how on God’s green earth does a person put 88 miles on a car just going to the coffee shop.
(Hell yes I wrote the mileage down.
I know you don’t begrudge me that Jesus.)
I thought all these things (and more), and said too many of them all today.
All those words and thoughts at once.
Whirling around throughout this one day which began before eight this morning. After my oldest son whispered Bye Mom to me as he went to work and my next son came in to see how his little brother with the sprained wrist was doing. And which will end around midnight after we all watch yet another episode of Prison Break together and no this is not uncommon but the norm.
Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?
Because I really don’t know.
Fitting, sliding, squeezing, levering it all into one day is oh so hard.
But I do it.
And rise up,
given one more day thank you,
to try again.