Two Pages

It’s tarantula season.

And though I know tarantulas are harmless creatures who actually devour other, more harmful creatures I still think they’re disgusting.

Because they’re hairy (I think) and magnified. So to speak.

Smaller spiders are disgusting because they’re sneaky; it’s part of their skill set, being smaller. Their size allows them to creep up on a person. Appearing suddenly, right at eye level. On the top of the book you’re reading, near your hand on the desk, racing along a wall or a lampshade.

Even suspended from a string manufactured right from their own body!


(Honestly that fact plus the way spiders move, all skittery sideways, makes them one of the most disgusting creatures on the entire planet.)

 A tarantula, at least, is more forthright about the whole Freaking You The Frack Out endeavor. It’s big, and makes its presence known.

Not that it deserves any points for this; it’s still hairy and magnified. (If you see what I mean.

If you don’t I’m sorry. Just go with it.)

I have personally found several tarantulas outside my house. One walking along the front wall, working its nasty way purposely toward my daughter’s window.

Which it no doubt intended to wriggle through in some devious, underhanded, spiderly fashion.

Luckily I spotted it.

After I, (more or less), quit screeching my neighbor knocked it off the wall with a piece of sprinkler pipe and took it away.

I’ve no idea where.

Another tarantula (this one was smaller, but wait it gets worse) was discovered inside my house on the wall between my daughter’s bedroom and the bathroom by my deranged husband whose actual response was: “Hey cool! Look at this!”

My feminist side is chagrined to admit that my panic filled/blood thirsty screams of Smash it! Smash it! were entirely ignored.

He captured it in an (empty) ice cream bucket, took the nasty thing to work, and gifted a co-worker with it. The co-worker gave it to his children. The entire family went out shopping for “tarantula toys” (and afterwards, presumably, ice cream.)

Three days later it killed them all as they slept, laid eggs in their hair, and ate their faces.

Not really.

I’ve no idea what happened to the above house invading tarantula or how it managed to sneaky-crawl its way into my house. I do know that, thanks to my two largest dogs Lily and Ellie a window screen in my family room is entirely wacked out of shape; resulting in a large, gapping triangle of Open Space whenever the window is open.

Which is quite often.

Creating the perfect tarantula doorway which is, possibly even now, casting an amber triangle of welcome over the back yard straight into my family room.

Beckoning every tarantula on the whole dang hillside.

Of course I’ve attempted to whack the whacked window screen back into shape – and failed. I’ve thought of acquiring a new screen for the window, but keep forgetting. I’ve searched the house for a window of the same size, figuring to swap the screens; evidently the whacked-screened-window is unique.

I suppose I could keep the window always shut, but in the evenings a nice little canyon wind often winds about the house, creating a welcome breeze.

And really, who doesn’t love a cool evening breeze? Hinting that summer is finally beginning to fade, that autumn is on its way.

And of course, alas, that it’s tarantula season.

(Yet another excellent reason my favorite season is winter.)

ldbtaylor lisa db taylor







And, as I dislike tarantulas here is a photo of our cute puppy Pyewacket, AKA Pye.

As well as… (keep scrolling) cute puppy


Beautiful Winter.
Note there are no tarantulas present!



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Two Pages: Tarantulas
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